Wild Barbeque

We're hosting a small neighborhood gathering in a few weeks, and while I was going through the guestlist I asked myself "which member of the Wild would I like to have over for such a party?" Good question indeed. Here are the nominees:

• Jacques Lemaire: he'd be the logicial choice, but I think my other guests would have trouble understanding him with the heavy french-canadian accent, and nobody wants to hear about the beauty of the trap while enjoying margaritas.
  
• Marian Gaborik: the fast-skating forward wouldn't be a good guest because he'd probably slip into my basement to play the PS2.
• Derek Boogaard: we've got a lot of kids in the neighborhood who'd appreciate his defensive fighting school, but he'd eat too many brats to make the event affordable.
• Brian Rolston: another good option, but I have a feeling he'd start out the party on fire, telling funny stories and mixing incredible drinks. Then towards the second half of the party he'd become boring and we wouldn't even know he was here.
• Martin Skoula: too easy to take a shot at him here. Something about turning over the potato salad might be appropriate.
  
• Which leaves me with Keith Carney. You just know he's got some great hockey stories, and I hear he's one hell of a jart player. Plus, he'd tire after about 15 minutes and go home, not wearing out his stay.