So they're looking for a mascot. I suspect they'll end up dressing up some kid who played mediocre college hockey in a green animal costume and have him or her skate around in between periods on stilts, launching overpriced Wild t-shirts into the crowd with a gun. Someone who can skate capably on the ice while wearing a 50 pound costume and sell merchandise. Someone with local ties who is still loved by the area hockey rubes.
I really don't see the need to even hold interviews for this position; hire from within I say. They've got the perfect candidate already on payroll: Danny Irmen. Irmen could skate on the 4th line during the game, play maybe 8 minutes a game and still have enough energy leftover to entertain the masses between periods. Hell, maybe they could even save a bit more money and see if he could talk Don Lucia into letting him borrow the Goldie Gopher costume on game days.
Friday, August 29, 2008
Thursday, August 28, 2008
A Word of Advice
...don't order the Nachos Bell Grande if you plan on sleeping within 1 hour. Taco Bell and Summit EPA don't mix so well.
I promise there will be more hockey-related posts this weekend. Roy out.
I promise there will be more hockey-related posts this weekend. Roy out.
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
5 Questions
Sorry for the inactivity lately. Here's the latest 5 Questions with Cortney of Style and Sports:
1. Favorite Olympic sport to watch and why?
"Well, I really love all of the winter games, but I'm assuming we're sticking to summer...and I'd have to say I've become a little addicted to the gymnatics. I've been rooting for Shawn Johnson, she's so adorable!"
2. Should the Wild commit to Marian for $8.0m per season over 5 years?
"Yes - and then if he plays the injury card for half the season, we can trade him for someone who will be a stronger contributor or to open up some cap space to sign one or two really strong players next summer. But it sounds like Risebrough is willing to offer quite a bit closer to $9M - and I'm not so sure that he's worth it. It's a tough deal for the Wild because a big name can be a big draw for retaining STH's, but at the same time they have to think about how much money they're investing in one player and how much he's actually contributing to the team on a consistent basis - and look at the other possibilities on how that $$ can be spent."
3. Better meteorologist name: Sven Sundgaard or Chikage Windler?
"Sven Sundgaard - His name sounds more sunshiney (and more Minnesotan)!"
4. Would you ever consider wearing white shoes past Labor Day?
"I don't really abide by the Memorial Day to Labor Day rules - but generally I would choose something in a winter white or cream between the end of September and mid-April. (I originally wrote a super detailed response to this question, but realized that it was more in depth than anyone would really care to read)"
5. Who wins in this cage match: Jacques Lemaire or Vin Diesel?
"Lol, I love Vin Diesel and caught part of one of his movies this afternoon, we must have espn or something. Lemaire is all about the defense...which probably isn't the best offense in a cage fight. So I would have to say Vin's the man in this one."
Thanks again, Cortney.
1. Favorite Olympic sport to watch and why?
"Well, I really love all of the winter games, but I'm assuming we're sticking to summer...and I'd have to say I've become a little addicted to the gymnatics. I've been rooting for Shawn Johnson, she's so adorable!"
2. Should the Wild commit to Marian for $8.0m per season over 5 years?
"Yes - and then if he plays the injury card for half the season, we can trade him for someone who will be a stronger contributor or to open up some cap space to sign one or two really strong players next summer. But it sounds like Risebrough is willing to offer quite a bit closer to $9M - and I'm not so sure that he's worth it. It's a tough deal for the Wild because a big name can be a big draw for retaining STH's, but at the same time they have to think about how much money they're investing in one player and how much he's actually contributing to the team on a consistent basis - and look at the other possibilities on how that $$ can be spent."
3. Better meteorologist name: Sven Sundgaard or Chikage Windler?
"Sven Sundgaard - His name sounds more sunshiney (and more Minnesotan)!"
4. Would you ever consider wearing white shoes past Labor Day?
"I don't really abide by the Memorial Day to Labor Day rules - but generally I would choose something in a winter white or cream between the end of September and mid-April. (I originally wrote a super detailed response to this question, but realized that it was more in depth than anyone would really care to read)"
5. Who wins in this cage match: Jacques Lemaire or Vin Diesel?
"Lol, I love Vin Diesel and caught part of one of his movies this afternoon, we must have espn or something. Lemaire is all about the defense...which probably isn't the best offense in a cage fight. So I would have to say Vin's the man in this one."
Thanks again, Cortney.
Monday, August 18, 2008
Weekend in Trencin
Wild General Manager Doug Risebrough and Assistant G.M. Tom Lynn recently travelled to Trencin, Slovakia, to visit with forward Marian Gaborik. What follows is a transcript of what their conversation probably sounded like:
(Setting: A dark room in Marian’s house, which resembles a castle with numerous auto racing arcade games, sort of a Medieval Chuck-E-Cheese. All three are seated at a table)
Marian Gaborik: Whassup, Dougie? Whatcha doin’ in Trencin?
Doug Risebrough: We just came over to visit with our favorite winger. How are you, Marian?
MG: Me good, me real good. Can I get you something to drink?
DR: Thanks, Marian, but we’re fine.
Tom Lynn: (Thinking to himself: Speak for yourself, asswipe.)
DR: Let’s cut to the chase here, Marian. We’re prepared to offer you the richest contact in the history of the franchise, but before we do so I’d like to get an indication from you that you’d be receptive to our offer.
MG: Come on, Dougie, we both know that "richest contract" doesn’t mean a hell of a lot when we’re talking about the Wild here. Remember this is the same team that wouldn’t cover my acne treatment in 2003-04.
DR: Let’s not get personal, Marian.
TL: I’m with Marian on this one; those were some big friggin’ zits.
DR: In any event, let’s just say we were to offer you $45 million over 5 years. Is this something you’d be happy with?
TL: (Using a calculator) That’s almost $9.0 million per year.
MG: What good is all that money going to do me if I can’t spend it with Pavol and Radio? Damn, I miss those guys.
DR: They live next door, Marian. I saw Demitra mowing his lawn when we drove by.
MG: I mean during the season, dumbass. Pavol was my boy and you guys let him walk.
DR: Now there’s no need to insult us, Marian. Pavol was nearing the end of his career and wanted too much money. There just wasn’t value there.
MG: Ok, I may listen if you can convince the old man to play me more than 19 minutes a game. Man, if I played on the East coast I’d score 80 goals…no, make that 100.
DR: I’ll talk to Jacques, he’s always open to suggestions.
TL: (Thinking to himself: There’s no chance in hell. We travelled 4,000 miles for nothing but a burnt bratwurst at the Trencin Sonic. Why did I let Doug talk me into this?
MG: You guys should go now. I’ve got my NASCAR fantasy league in 2 hours and I need to prepare.
DR: Sounds good, Marian. Keep in touch.
MG: Bye. (Thinking to himself: I can’t wait to play for the Atlanta Thrashers next year.)
(Setting: A dark room in Marian’s house, which resembles a castle with numerous auto racing arcade games, sort of a Medieval Chuck-E-Cheese. All three are seated at a table)
Marian Gaborik: Whassup, Dougie? Whatcha doin’ in Trencin?
Doug Risebrough: We just came over to visit with our favorite winger. How are you, Marian?
MG: Me good, me real good. Can I get you something to drink?
DR: Thanks, Marian, but we’re fine.
Tom Lynn: (Thinking to himself: Speak for yourself, asswipe.)
DR: Let’s cut to the chase here, Marian. We’re prepared to offer you the richest contact in the history of the franchise, but before we do so I’d like to get an indication from you that you’d be receptive to our offer.
MG: Come on, Dougie, we both know that "richest contract" doesn’t mean a hell of a lot when we’re talking about the Wild here. Remember this is the same team that wouldn’t cover my acne treatment in 2003-04.
DR: Let’s not get personal, Marian.
TL: I’m with Marian on this one; those were some big friggin’ zits.
DR: In any event, let’s just say we were to offer you $45 million over 5 years. Is this something you’d be happy with?
TL: (Using a calculator) That’s almost $9.0 million per year.
MG: What good is all that money going to do me if I can’t spend it with Pavol and Radio? Damn, I miss those guys.
DR: They live next door, Marian. I saw Demitra mowing his lawn when we drove by.
MG: I mean during the season, dumbass. Pavol was my boy and you guys let him walk.
DR: Now there’s no need to insult us, Marian. Pavol was nearing the end of his career and wanted too much money. There just wasn’t value there.
MG: Ok, I may listen if you can convince the old man to play me more than 19 minutes a game. Man, if I played on the East coast I’d score 80 goals…no, make that 100.
DR: I’ll talk to Jacques, he’s always open to suggestions.
TL: (Thinking to himself: There’s no chance in hell. We travelled 4,000 miles for nothing but a burnt bratwurst at the Trencin Sonic. Why did I let Doug talk me into this?
MG: You guys should go now. I’ve got my NASCAR fantasy league in 2 hours and I need to prepare.
DR: Sounds good, Marian. Keep in touch.
MG: Bye. (Thinking to himself: I can’t wait to play for the Atlanta Thrashers next year.)
Sunday, August 17, 2008
Bringing Sexy Back
Clearly the national audience is interested in seeing the Minnesota Wild and their sexy trap, otherwise Versus wouldn't have them in their schedule a whopping 8 times. There are 2 very good things that this means:
1. Exposing the greatness of Mikko and Marian to a national audience, and
2. Locally we won't have to listen to Michaels Terhaar and Greenlay for 8 games.
1. Exposing the greatness of Mikko and Marian to a national audience, and
2. Locally we won't have to listen to Michaels Terhaar and Greenlay for 8 games.
Thursday, August 07, 2008
Lyric Quiz
Much fame to the winner who identifies the song that this belongs to:
Do you hear me coming, Lord?
Do you hear me call?
Do you hear me knocking?
I'm knocking at your door.
Do you hear me coming, Lord?
Do you hear me call?
You hear me scratching,
why do you make me crawl?
Sorry for the non-Wild post, but I heard this from a clip on Youtube tonight and it really struck me as boffo cool.
Do you hear me coming, Lord?
Do you hear me call?
Do you hear me knocking?
I'm knocking at your door.
Do you hear me coming, Lord?
Do you hear me call?
You hear me scratching,
why do you make me crawl?
Sorry for the non-Wild post, but I heard this from a clip on Youtube tonight and it really struck me as boffo cool.
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