Fake Mailbag

Yes, it's time again to answer questions posed by fake readers in another installment of Fake Mailbag:

Dear WPB:

I'm a long-suffering Canucks fan. Year after year my team seems to assemble overrated, overpaid talent and can never seem to win a big playoff series. Between our starting goaltender and the Supertwins we can't even afford to add anyone else significant. Any thoughts?
M. Gillis, Vancouver, B.C.

Mr. Gillis: First off, go get yourself a 12 pack of Sleeman's and find a nice spot on the couch. Then pick up your remote control and find the Center Ice channel that the Wild are playing on. ~Editor

Dear WPB,

Do you think there's any chance I can get Chuck Fletcher drunk at the next GM meetings and get him to take Benoit Pouliot back?
B. Gainey, Montreal.

B: I'd give Pouliot another 5 to 6 seasons to develop. He's clearly got an upside, it just takes half a decade or so to develop. ~ Editor

Dear WPB:

What an insane blog you've got here. All you seem to do is take cheap shots at teams ahead of the Wild in the standings, rip on your best players and spend countless paragraphs about places in Minneapolis to find good burritos. I can't believe they let you have a spot on the prestigious Fanball Sports Network.
M. Gaborik, NYC.

Dear MG: You raise an excellent point regarding burritos. If you ever find yourself in Duluth, I'd heartily suggest stopping in at Burrito Union. ~Editor.

Dear WPB:

What are your top 5 Organized Crime Films of all time?
R. Ebert, Chicago.

Rog, here they are:
(1) Goodfellas. (2) Godfather. (3) Godfather 2. (4) Miller's Crossing. (5) Donnie Brasco. ~ Editor.