Chapter 1

In an attempt to explore the uncharted waters of my creative mind, I have decided to write a short fictional story about Jacques Lemaire, Abraham Lincoln and a 1974 Ford Pinto. Here is the first installment:

Maybe it was something I ate. I should learn from my reckless eating habits, but it appears that I had finally gone too far. It was late in the evening, I had just finished watching two periods of West Coast hockey and I was hungry. Walking into my kitchen I realized I hadn't been grocery shopping in weeks and there was nothing to satisfy my cravings.

There's no easy way to say this, so I'll just put it out there. I drove to Taco Hell and ate three chili cheese burritos. I'm not proud of myself, but it is what it is. After I got home I went straight to bed. I guess I can blame it on the burritos, or the late night, but I've really got no one to blame besides myself for having the dream that changed my life.

I didn't realize it was a dream, so you can throw out your "Roy just watched 'Inception' again and is now trying to rip it off" theories. It all seemed very real; not once did I question its zany circumstances. I was parked outside a small cafe in downtown Duluth, sitting in my blue and white Ford Pinto in the pouring rain.

I wasn't hungry in the dream (I guess burritos carry over to dreamland), but sitting there in the Pinto I felt the urge to walk out into the rain and enter the diner. Why, I don't know, but just go with me here for a bit. I opened my door and stood up in the blinding rainstorm. No one was on the street and it appeared to be the middle of the night. All was dark except the lights coming from the cafe.

As I opened the door and entered the diner, the smell of bacon enveloped my nose. I could hear some Johnny Cash playing in the background and only 2 people were seated in the entire restaurant. They were sitting on the same side of a booth, sharing a sandwich. Then it donned on me who they were...Abraham Lincoln and Jacques Lemaire were eating a BLT. Lemaire stood up and said in his French-Canadian accent "Come on over, Roy, we've been expecting you."

A Glimpse of Future Glory

As I sat at my computer yesterday afternoon reading the injury news about Devin Setoguchi, Cal Clutterbuck and Josh Harding I came to the very realistic viewpoint that the Minnesota Wild were primed for a poor performance in Los Angeles. The team was riding high, but they were near the end of a West coast road trip and missing several key players. I told myself a 5-1 loss wouldn't be unexpected.

But they went ahead and destroyed the Kings 4-2. Things are going sooo well for our team it seems it doesn't really matter who they suit up; everyone contributes.

I know this isn't going to last. Sooner or later the Wild are going to start losing again, but I don't expect them to fall too far. Are they the best team in hockey? Obviously not, but they are clearly a playoff team. They are better than I thought they'd be at this point, but that doesn't change my thinking that they're a 5-8 seed in the Western Conference.

Having said all that, I'd like to reiterate that this team's best days are in front of them. Fans of the team know that within 2-3 years the roster will bear the names of Mikael Granlund (who will be this team's first superstar), Jason Zucker, Brett Bulmer, Charlie Coyle and Johan Larsson. And keep in mind I haven't even brought up the possibility of Zach Parise.

Enjoy this season, Wild fans, for it portends to be a glimpse of future glory.

At the Rinks: The CRIC

It isn't too often that I add new features to the site, but I think this will be a successful one. Each week I will attend a local high school hockey game and submit a review of the rink. This week: The Coon Rapids Ice Arena, or more affectionately dubbed "The CRIC".

Last Saturday I attended the first boy's high school game at The CRIC, a contest between Coon Rapids and Robbinsdale Armstrong. While the game itself was a fairly exciting 3-3 tie, I was more concerned with the surroundings.

While anything's an improvement over their previous home, Cook Memorial Arena, I felt The CRIC did a number of things well. First off, it was very bright inside, almost to the point of needing sunglasses. The ice sheet was very well illuminated and the arena had a nice set of windows along the top of the wall for plenty of natural sunlight. And although their are only bleachers on one side of the rink, they were marginally comfortable.

Concession-wise they leave much to be desired. After learning from an inside source that the hot dogs were puny, I opted for a personal pizza. What I got was a small microwaved Red Baron. I don't know if I'd expect more, but it just wasn't very tasty. Outside of the usual nachos and pretzel offerings I didn't see much variety.

The atmosphere also lagged a bit. The crowd wasn't into the game and the music played between puck stoppages reminded me of the selection played across the street at the roller rink. I did enjoy, however, the intermission music they played during a team timeout...it was straight from the Common Man's progrum; presumably a shout out to Coach Mileski.

Overall, I give the place a B-. Great, well-lit building with a poor crowd and bad pizza.

Next up: The St. Louis Park Rec. Center.

A Look at the New Rivals

With NHL Realignment a done deal, it is time to say goodbye to our Northwest Division rivals and hello to a new bunch in the unnamed Central Conference. While I'll miss watching Roberto Luongo skate to the bench mid-period after being pulled, I have a hunch I'll like getting to bed a bit earlier and not having to watch many away games starting at 9:00 Central Time.

With that in mind, who in the the new Conference will become the Wild's biggest rival? Here is a quick look at the contenders using a 5 star rating system:

(1) Chicago Blackhawks (****) ~ I wouldn't mind seeing a rekindling of the old North Stars-Blackhawks rivalry, but Steve Larmer and Al Secord are no longer active. Can I grow to hate Jonathan Toews and Company? To quote Jeff Dubay, "Yeah, I think so!"

(2) St. Louis Blues (***) ~ another good past rival, but they've fallen a bit. Having said that, it'll be nice to pencil in 12 points at the beginning of the season.

(3) Columbus Bluejackets (1/2 *) ~ assuming they'll still be around next season, I have some trouble getting excited about playing a hockey team from Ohio, Miami excluded.

(4) Nashville Predators (**) ~ a competitive team with a neckless coach. Something tells me I could muster some hatred towards Jordan Tootoo also.

(5) Dallas Stars (****) ~ the natural pick with the Norm Green history and all. We'll see what develops.

(6) Detroit Red Wings (***) ~ who knows. The way they're whining about not being in the Eastern Conference they may end up there sooner rather than later. That, and the fact that their roster is aging faster than Giada's provolone, makes me shy away from them as a legit rival.

(7) Winnipeg Jets (**) ~ again, we'll have to see what develops. One thing to look forward to is more Wild appearances on early HNIC games. We'll also get to see Dustin Byfuglien shatter the magical 300 lb. number.