WPB Investigates

The lack of professional hockey has given our staff here at Wild Puck Banter some extra time to pursue some stories that have been delayed for some time.  Last month we unleashed our investigative department on an issue that can no longer be overlooked and the results are alarming.  Here is what was discovered.

In an attempt to make inroads with the Finnish people in Minnesota, the Wild have purposely gone after players of Finnish descent and added them to their roster.  In an internal memo obtained by unnamed sources, Wild management has said repeatedly this to their scouts:

"I don't give a rat's ass if the Swedish player has more ability.  If they're not a Finn, don't waste my motherf****ing time."

At first I found this theory hard to believe, but then I took a closer look at their historical roster.  Petteri Nummelin, Antti Laaksonen and Antti Miettinen are examples A, B and C.  Then they go ahead and make a Finn the team captain.  Their starting goaltender is Finnish as well as their top prospect.  This all seems too coincidental.

Minnesota's population is 23% Finnish.  With these undeniable facts, it's clear what the Wild is up to here.  Sign Finns and win the support of Minnesota.

Rating Cheers

No hockey in sight, bleh.  In the meantime, here's some banter about the TV show "Cheers:"

The way I see it, Cheers had three distinctive periods.  First, the Coach years.  Then Coach dies and Woody takes over.  And finally, Diane leaves and Rebecca enters the picture.  These three separate divisions should be ranked in this order:

(1)  The Woody and Diane Period ~ this is when Cheers reached its zenith.  Every single episode was a study in great comic writing and gave birth to extraordinary supporting characters.  Woody Harrelson hadn't yet become the stereotype he portrayed and most of the episodes were still set in the tavern.  My personal favorite from this period:  the first prank-trading show with Gary's Olde Towne Tavern.  Comedy gold.

(2)  The Coach Period ~ simple, great episodes.  Coach's character was understated yet complex.  Each show was about Sam and Diane's budding relationship and rarely spent much time dealing with Norm and Cliff.  Solid.

(3)  The Rebecca Years ~ despite an occasional gem, most of these episodes went a little far.  The writing team spent too much time on Frasier and Lilith Crane as wells as too many plots involving Rebecca's love life.  Like all great sitcoms, Cheers went on a few years too long.

Die Hard

Past efforts to educate my children with great films of yesteryear have been met with mixed results.  The films they enjoyed include "Big Trouble in Little China," "Strange Brew" and the first 2 Indiana Jones movies.  On the flip side, "Poltergeist" and "Better Off Dead" were panned by my two boys, now 16 and 13.  I'm not sure why "Dead" was met with poor reviews; I blame that mostly on a blatent dislike for skiing.  In any event, last night we continued their education with a study of the Christmas classic "Die Hard".

My first reaction upon seeing it for the first time in 10+ years was that it holds up very well.  The theme of a band of robbers taking over a skyscraper seems to strike a note given today's headlines.  Then again, it would have been a completely different movie if cell phones has been in existence.  It is also funnier than I remember; the FBI Johnsons was a nice touch.  And don't forget Hans Gruber...the guys was a great villian.

My boys pretty much felt the same way.  Oh sure, there was the "why is John McLaine wearing a different shirt" observation and other nit-picky arguments, but both of the junior movie critics in my house gave it solid thumbs-up.  My theory on this has to do with the Call-of-Duty-ness of the plot.  McLaine's constantly killing people in this movie in a variety of ways and that seems to strike a note with the youth of today. 

Next up in our rotation:  "Die Hard 2: Die Harder" and "The Breakfast Club."

Keep Hope Alive

Today is election day in the United States and it also is the day that the NHLPA and the NHL are getting back to the table to hammer out a new Collective Bargaining Agreement.  If they are are able to come to terms soon, I wonder how much DIRECTV will reduce the NHL Center Ice package to.  My best guess is that it'll be around $125.00 if the season starts around December 1.

Betting types can access www.carbonsports.ag if they're interested in checking out a quality site.

When the NHL does return, expect the Minnesota Wild to get off to a fast start, thanks in large part to new acquisitions Zach Parise and Ryan Suter.  Parise and Suter will bring instant credability to a franchise that has languished for several years in a row.  Add in soon to be Calder Winner Mikael Granlund and you've got a playoff contender.  My official predictions are not ready yet, but I expect the Wild to finish around 3rd in the Western Conference.

Out East, I have no clue yet.  My crack team of researchers is about halfway through breaking down the rosters and schedule, but it's not complete yet.  All I know is that the Maple Leafs won't win the Cup...why break tradition, right?

Making Progress

With yesterday's not-so-secret CBA meetings it finally appears that we're headed in the right direction towards getting this thing settled.  If I were a betting man, I'd say the season will start December 1st.

Regarding betting, if you wanted to check sports betting reviews, I'd click on the link.  Educated people can make a small fortune if they only had the right sportsbook.  And with the NHL possibly beginning play sooner rather than later, you'll want to figure out the right sportsbook for you.

History Lesson

Before I begin this outrageous comparison I'd like to state for the record that in know way do I actually believe that Gary Bettman or Donald Fehr are close to the evil that was Adolph Hitler.  Hitler was bad in so many ways, while I'm pretty sure Bettman and Fehr have some redeeming qualities somewhere under the surface.  That being said, onto today's post.
 
For a variety of reasons that I won't go into here, Germany got hosed at the end of the first World War.  It was slapped with numerous sanctions and penalties that had a direct result on their immediate future.  Besides trying their emperor as a war criminal, Germany also had to give up some territory to France and pay about a zillion dollars in gold to the allied countries.  In short, Germany was relegated to amateur nation status and crushed economically.  (Again, I'm not saying this wasn't deserved)
 
For the next 15-20 years Germany struggled.  Like the rest of the world, an economic depression spread and many people suffered.  When people suffer, they sometimes latch on to desperate measures.  In Germany, the people listened to a nut like Hitler who promised their nation that Germany would not be denied again.

Long story short, Hitler galvanized Germany and started World War II.  He was unwilling to compromise on any of this beliefs and many people died.  Only when Germany was crushed by the Allies (and Hitler dead) did the war in Europe end.
 
Fast-forward to the National Hockey League in 2004.  The league was struggling economically and the players were locked out by the owners.  After a lengthy standoff, the players capitulated and agreed to the salary cap.  Shortly thereafter the players dismissed their chief, Bob Goodnow.
 
A few years passed and the CBA was expiring soon.  The players, who felt they got the shaft in 2004, decided to employ a negotiating shark to get them a better deal.  Donald Fehr was hired and told everyone that the players were behind him 100 percent.  Unfortunately for them, Fehr doesn't compromise much and neither does Bettman.  The lockout started and shows no signs of ending anytime soon.
 
The 2004 CBA Agreement led to Donald Fehr, much like the Treaty of Versailles led to Hitler.  I can't wait until I get to write about hockey again.